If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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