meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
