are you still at the devil's house?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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