wakey wakey hands off snakey
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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