i don't plan on having that self control this summer
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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