before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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