so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
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my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
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I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm having to shit out rocks
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