Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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