too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
