You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
