She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
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I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
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Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia