I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
