I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
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I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
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Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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