my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
where are my eyebrows?
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