Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
