gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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