i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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