ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
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