You're so nebulous sometimes
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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