thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
