i jhust puked up my retainher.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
