She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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