when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
