Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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