Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
