Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize