she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
