oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
