I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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