i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
