Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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