So drunk, too bad you don't want this
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
