Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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