so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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