i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
