if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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