Only a mothe r could love this liver
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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