how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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