the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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