lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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