A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
