hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
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No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
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The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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