I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
