all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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