she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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