Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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