Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
