Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
