He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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