shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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