just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
