i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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