a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize