Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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