haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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