Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
