my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
