Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
