craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
