I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
