This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
