woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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