you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize