Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
