i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
