he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize