They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
